Ordinariness

Life’s burden on a person is indeed heavy, but if you ask me, what makes it heaviest is ordinariness.

What does it mean to be ordinary? Can people, each with unique fingerprints, truly be ordinary? It seems unlikely. So, what do I mean by “ordinariness” here? Simply this: believing that one is just ordinary, devoid of special qualities; seeing oneself as far from extraordinary. To see oneself as insignificant, powerless, and small within the grand scheme of things, conditioned to believe in one's own irrelevance—this is a burden as heavy as Xyphos. Let’s explore what this means and what potential consequences it holds…

Each of us is ordinary in a way. After all, who among us is born with superpowers? We are all mortal, fragile, and anxious beings. Yet seeing oneself as ordinary, insignificant, and powerless is problematic. Each droplet in a devastating flood, each snowflake in an avalanche—these are ordinary in themselves. But this ordinariness does not mean insignificance. Without these ordinary elements, such powerful forces would not be possible.

However, humans are not as passive, unconscious, or bound by physical laws as a snowflake or a water molecule. On the contrary, humans are a truly extraordinary species, each individual equipped with unique traits and inclinations. Moreover, we’re talking about a sentient, autonomous being—endowed with consciousness and free will (at least, something we assume exists in most of us). Humans are the only beings who can be held accountable for their decisions and actions.

The Formation of the Perception of Ordinariness

Throughout the last thousands of years of human history, a similar pattern has likely repeated itself: Groups of people, growing in number and forced to live together in settled areas, invented countless rules to organize their lives and create a functional social life. Establishing this order in a sustainable way made it essential for society to raise individuals who were harmonious and responsible citizens. During particularly sensitive periods, tolerance for unconventional thoughts, extraordinary behaviors, or disruptive actions needed to be very low. As cultural beings, we needed to pass on the knowledge and experiences of previous generations to the next quickly and efficiently, raising new generations who could continue the work and processes they inherited. Religions, political systems, ideologies, and traditions have been used for this purpose by humans for a long time, and they continue to serve this role today.

The common feature of all these regulatory systems, in my opinion, is this: No matter how enlightened or brilliant the ideas behind them, the rules of these systems need to be simplified and narrowed down considerably for them to be understood and implemented by the entire community. Otherwise, expecting people to comprehend complex, reasoned processes as a whole becomes impossible. Rules and knowledge simplified to the lowest level of understanding help society move together in unison. This is where Ibn Khaldun’s concept of asabiyyah in Muqaddimah comes from. Asabiyyah is the set of collective stories that drive a society to act as one.

Most of us begin life by learning such systems of rules or stories due to the cultural and micro-environmental conditions of the society we are born into. Often, we are not even consciously aware of this. The unsystematic words and actions of those around us, their emotional reactions, sayings, behaviors, traditions, and many other factors subtly seep into the depths of our minds at a very early stage. They shape us and our thoughts. Much of our beliefs arise from these unconscious encounters, and over time, our beliefs begin to govern our perception and thinking systems. Very few people, somewhere along the way, have the chance to realize that they are far more complex and capable than the simplified rules and traditions taught to them. Fewer still are those who, upon realizing this, set the intention to explore their own capacities that go beyond these imposed rules. And among those who start this journey, only a small number are able to break free from mental and emotional shells, taking concrete steps to build a new self within themselves. This journey is therefore both challenging and rare.

For those who have never embarked on this process, life can be both easy and difficult. It is easy because life is, for them, a “simple” system that can fit within rules akin to those suited for a child’s mind. Most people prefer perceiving the world with this simplicity. Yet, life can also be difficult, as they must learn to actively silence a chorus of inner voices that grows louder over time. These voices are often the cries of rebellion from the deeply layered, multidimensional human potential. For a being equipped with boundless desires and dreams, and capable of perceiving a vast universe beyond themselves, remaining forever confined to rules formulated by other humans becomes a profound source of unrest. This restlessness can become especially pronounced and overwhelming at various milestones in life, such as adolescence, early adulthood, middle age, and the onset of old age. These mechanisms of suppression manifest in many ways—sometimes as deep internal discomfort, sometimes as burnout, sometimes as extreme euphoria or indulgence, and at times as a desire to rebel against the established order. These mechanisms often lead to a spiral that complicates life and compounds one’s struggles over time.

Yet, the solution, at least on the level of awareness, is rather simple: every person is unique. Each individual, undertaking their unique journey within what may seem like an ordinary life, is the hero of a one-of-a-kind story or, in some ways, an epic tale. We can each become a traveler whose only struggle is with oneself, free from the need to prove anything to anyone else. And through this, we might come to marvel at the hidden novels, the epic stories concealed within what appears to be an ordinary existence.

If, of course, we choose to—and if we are willing to set this intention…